Helping Chn Overcome Shyness
To assist children to overcome shyness, try the following ides. They are designed to help increase self-confidence and overcome situations that make a child feel shy.
|||bullet|||Strengths and Weaknesses. It is important that your child be in touch with their strengths as well as their weaknesses. On a sheet of paper, help them list on one half their strengths -- things they do well; their good qualities.
On the other half, list weak points -- things that perhaps need improvement. Help them decide which weak points they would most like to improve, then set achievable goals that are as specific and practical as possible. Break each goal into small steps, and then develop a plan for reaching each step.
After your child has accomplished each step of their goal, reward them with something they enjoy, and encourage them with loving praise, allowing them to bask in their success. Then go on to the next step. Check-off each step as it is accomplished. Reevaluate the steps and goals periodically, making any changes you feel necessary.
|||bullett|||Improving Conversational Skills. If you find your child hibernating, perhaps it is time to help them get out and practice meeting and talking with people. Where to start? How about a place where your child feels safe to be seen alone, such as in church, walking to class, or in a library.
Another excellent way to encourage development of friendships and interaction skills is through organized groups such as scouting or 4-H. These are good places to practice conversational skills.
Your child will benefit by rehearsing some conversations ahead of time, planning out in their mind exactly what they will say. They may wish to start out with a comment or question about something similar they and another child are experiencing or perhaps practice asking for help or giving a compliment.
Help your child practice being a good listener. Encourage them to listen carefully to what is being said. Suggest that they let the person know they understand by nodding their head, touching, or leaning forward; or through verbal cues such as "really?" or "uh, huh."
Stress the benefits of asking questions if they do not understand, and suggest that they try to identify with the person's situation when possible. By getting the other person to talk about himself, they not only help that person to feel important, but your child also keeps the spotlight off himself.
|||bullett|||Role Playing. Have your child list several people in whose presence they feel really shy. Arrange two chairs face to face. Have your youngster sit in one and pretend the first person on their list is sitting opposite them. Have your child tell that "person" all the ways that "person" makes your child feel shy.
Next, have your child switch seats and answer as if they were that person. Once your child has played the role, it is background information for future encounters, giving them added strength and confidence in dealing with people.
|||bullett|||Coping with Stressful Situations. Getting through a stressful situation can be much easier if your child is as prepared as possible. Imagine the entire scene, with every detail. Encourage them to relax their body by doing slow, deep breathing before the event. Encourage them to focus on a comforting scene, such as a rippling creek or an ocean shore, allowing them to smell, hear and see it, feeling its soothing effect on their body. Encourage them to give themselves positive feedback, telling themselves that they can do it.
